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Writer's pictureFatimah Simmons

Recovery Mode 📳



As I sat serenely entranced by the body of water that lay before me, I had a sudden recollection of something I asked for.

I gazed deeply at its horizon. Some patches were dark indigo deep and others were dull blue and shallow. The sun shone and then hid repetitively behind persistent shadows of grey clouds. Birds wafted playfully, sweeping the surface of the water nearest the shore where the large boulders created a small barrier between the water-breathing things and us, the air-breathing, living souls.


A man wearing a color blocked shirt and a fisherman's hat staggered around by the edge of the shore- the same place where the boulders separated the water and the things that breathe it and us air breathing, living souls- searching the sand for large colorful rocks and interesting logs. He leisurely yet, determinedly balanced the logs and rocks to create and build. The birds continued to play overhead and the wind blew softly.


Just last summer, I visited here again with a seasonal friend. I didn't fully know then that He was showing me where I had left and that He would bring me here again to live and recover and be. When I lived by the lake years ago, I had planned countless times in my mind to go and see, but I regretted that I didn't enjoy the beauty of what flowed just outside of my windows, before leaving.


But He remembered what I wanted and He heard me. Ultimately, He had a plan.


I have always held deep appreciation for real and true so, instinctively, the natural things of life are usually the things that draw me. Superficiality hides beneath the surface of things and I decided long ago that that's just not who I was created to be; not hidden nor beneath a thing. (or box, or construct, or tradition, or ceiling of a mind.)


But, I digress.



Back when I was close to the water, I was in a dark space, exhausted and in pain. I could not appreciate this natural thing that was given to me because I needed to be released in the proper time. He needed to show me a deeper revelation of who He is to me and who He created me to be.


God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

-Numbers 23:19 NIV


I'm learning to fall in love with this human experience because I feel God all in it. The last several years have been very traumatic, transformative and elevational. I prayed for many things (some of which I admittedly do not remember and others that were recorded) that God has gifted me today. God promised me things in my youth and I am amazed to see them slowly come to fruition as my years increase. God is intentional and does all things in His divine order. For that, I will always be extremely grateful.


We are granted choices and freedom to decide. The beauty about God is that He will use however we choose to grow us and still lead us to a space in our hearts to wisely receive and cherish what we want.



“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

‭‭-Luke‬ ‭11‬:‭9‬-‭13‬ ‭NIV‬‬



Happy Candle Lit Friday 🕯️

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